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If I won the lottery, I could make a whole lotta people miserable
Summer vacation: Where you drink triple, see double and act single.
I`m an organ donor, but I`m pretty sure all they`re going to use my liver for is "after" photos.
That awkward moment when you run into someone and there`s no where to hide
Nobody’s phone is ever off. They’re lying.
Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
This one isnt that funny, keep scrolling.
I start to feel really anxious when my work piles up. I never know what to ignore first.
I`ve been hitting "remind me later" for about the last 4 years on Adobe.
I don`t live paycheck to paycheck. I live paycheck to four days before paycheck...
Only awesome people are allowed to ‘LIKE’ this status!
Little known fact: Walt Disney was the inventor of modern day text talk "M - I - C... C u real soon... K - E - Y... Y? Because we like u"
Back before Walmart, you used to have to buy a ticket to see a bearded woman.
For our next trick, we should hack into North Korea`s TV system and put Jersey Shore on repeat...
My motto for the night ... drink till I no longer think :)