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Please ignore this post, I`m pretending to be adding a coworker`s phone number.
Dear children, when you look under your bed, what exactly are you planning to do when you find me? Sincerely, The Monster.
I hate it when people beg for likes, like if you agree?
condoms prevent minivans
The term "I paid GOOD money for that!" is soo silly..Honestly, have you ever seen BAD money? NOT ME !!!
If you have ever sat in the toilet at work and wondered how long you can sit there before someone searches for you, the answer is 47 minutes
I bet the guy who invented fake dog poo was upset the name "shampoo" was taken
I start to feel really anxious when my work piles up. I never know what to ignore first.
"How many people work at your company?" About half of them.
Every morning I check my girlfriends horoscope to see what kind of day I`m going to have.
Funny word combinations :Clearly misunderstood, Exact estimate, Small crowd, Act naturally, Found missing, Fully empty and above all ... Happily Married
Seriously, You accidentally catch six kitchen towels on fire and all of a sudden you can`t go in the kitchen alone anymore.
Just shaved my legs for the first time since October...just kidding, it`s not warm enough for that yet.
What ? Who ? Exactly my point. Now move along and go read something else. Nosey !!
If the shoe fits, buy it.