Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Much to my daughters horror, I just sang along to Ace of Base`s “The Sign” at full volume in a van full of her friends. Being a dad is fun!
I like candlelit dinners, long walks on the beach and hardcore pornography.
Beer is good, but beers are better.
Today is the 1st anniversary of the end of the world. Can you believe it`s been a year since the world ended? Time sure flies when it`s the apocalypse.
I got kicked out of the public swimming pool today. Apparently the `Breast Stroke` wasn`t what I thought it was.
I don`t get it. If violets are blue, why do we call them violets?
I already want to take a nap tomorrow.
Every time I stop making bad decisions, I get more and more boring.
My relationship with whiskey has been on the rocks lately
All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
Finally in bed. No better time to start thinking about every possible thing that has or ever could happen.
If being lazy paid, damn dude I must be a billionaire.
facebooked yo mama!!!
Adult movies now available in 3D?!? Some thing I just don`t want to see flying at my face.
What doesn`t kill you, will hopefully try again