Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why do baby clothes have pockets?
I put my phone on airplane mode, and it dragged me out of my seat.
I read an actual newspaper today! For those of you who don`t understand, a newspaper is like the Internet but made of paper.
I went to the bank and said I`d like to open a joint account. They said "With who?" I said "Anyone who has a lot of money!"
The responsibility of taking out the trash should be left to the person who runs out of ways to fit more trash in the bag.
I watched my first silent movie the other day. The kids weren`t there.
No one in my family has ever actually used the Olive Garden gift card. We just keep passing it down from generation to generation.
I wonder if they let me grow cannabis on Farmville, I`ll be able to sell it on Mafia Wars?
It`s amazing how many pedestrians confuse right-of-way with immortality.
Nothing hides your feelings like the backspace key.
Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely hate.
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools
Expect nothing and you`ll be impressed every day.
An empty fridge is a sad fridge.
I`ve just been watching a documentary on marijuana...... I think all documentaries should be watched this way.