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Hair pulling during sex is hot ... unless the whole wig comes off.
You hate me? I didn’t even know you existed.
I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
My death bed confession is going to be epic!
I`m Not Single. I am romantically challenged
Agreeing to disagree is lame. Let’s agree to take turns slapping each other until one of us admits we were wrong.
Where do all the ice cream men go in winter?
next time you`re at a movie point at the screen when a scene with extras are on and say to your buddy "look, there i am!" and see how many people look over at you in awe.
If I notice an unfinished jigsaw puzzle at some`s house, I always take a piece home with me.
The filling in this fortune cookie tastes like paper...
Word for today: Dipshidiot
A cross-eyed teacher has no control over her pupils
No need to drive me crazy. I can walk from here.
My friend`s Jeep was broken into and she acted so surprised about it. Your car is held together by zippers! It`s as secure as my pants.