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If zombies ever do attack just go to Costco, they have walls, years of food and supplies, and zombies can’t get in without a Costco membership.
Today is different because after you lie to someone, you tell them you were lying.
Cashiers are always checking me out.
I think people who challenge me at Words With Friends are most impressed with my vast knowledge of three letter words.
It`s amazing how many pedestrians confuse right-of-way with immortality.
is pondering why people have a favorite color M&M when they all taste the same!
It scares me when the lights go out and it`s complete darkness. The first thing I think is ... OMG I just went blind!
I should be asleep, but there are a lot of things I should be.
Eleventeen percent of the population makes up words.
So long pants! See you Monday!
Last person to like this wins a prize.
Is professional lollygagger an actual job yet?
OMG!!!!! I almost went to the toilet without my phone!
I don`t know why it`s necessary to get a glass dirty, when wine tastes perfectly fine straight out of the bottle.
If we’re not supposed to eat late, then why is there a light in the fridge?