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Having a contest with my couch and my washing machine to see who has more money. So far I`m in 3rd.
A lot of people don`t realise that Shania Twain`s father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.
Kill them with kindness ..and then fart as you walk away
I don`t live paycheck to paycheck. I live paycheck to four days before paycheck...
If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for a week
This recliner and I go way back.
A court date is still technically a date, right?
I`m only materialistic when I shop at the liquor store.
I wouldn`t say I "missed" your call.
The hardest things about beginning any new relationship has got to be learning how to fart quietly again.
There are two types of people I can`t stand. Nosy people, and people who won`t tell me what`s going on.
Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook.
I feel that being a smarta$$ is my duty. The pay sucks, but the work is very rewarding.
Sorry I drunk dialed you at 10am.
Research is what I`m doing when I don`t know what I`m doing.