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We can`t deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one.
Sometimes to much to drink is never enough
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
Her (from the living room): What time is it out there? Me (in the kitchen): Same time as it is in there.
Going to tattoo shop to get both legs fully covered. Before he touches me with that needle, I run off yelling `thanks for the free shave loser!`
Look, all I`m saying is that the dinosaurs didn`t drink alcohol and look what happened to them.
They act like technology is ruining childhood, but back in the day, kids were so bored they would turn their eyelids inside out for fun.
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y`all.
Frozen water balloon fights... not a good idea.
Everyone loved Jack-in-the-box as kids. Now I`m older, I like mine in the bottle
Breasts are like model trains. They were originally meant for children but grown men always want to play with them.
If you didn`t want me looking in your bedroom than you never should have put your window at the same height as my ladder.
If you`re looking for happiness, walk to your nearest liquor store.
The only reason any of us can spell laboratory is because of Dexter.
Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool