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A person who says they will never lie to you is probably lying already.
I don`t really want to make bad choices; but I`m always late, and all the good choices are already taken..
I don`t know about you . But everytime I go on Twitter , I get this weird feeling , I am being followed.
Dogs love you even if you’re ugly.
That awkward moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.
There is a piece of aluminum foil blowing across the road and all I can think is that one of you is without your protective headgear today.
Alex, I`ll take WTF for a $1000
Best grilled cheese ever!! All I did was add a hamburger patty.
I`ll bet I`m the only one in this grocery store with "sh!t for tacos" on my shopping list.
I`m giving up procrastination for Lent ... starting tomorrow.
Job interview tip: repeatedly ask if you`re under oath
M?o?n?, T?u?e?s?, W?e?d?, T?h?u?r?s?, Friday !!!!
Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute.
You ever notice that the number of extra steps a drunk takes getting home? ...its staggering!
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective