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Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.
I know this will probably piss off a bunch of people I know, but what makes someone good at fishing?!? Seriously, all you did was wait longer.
Perfect relationships exist in thoughts, movies, and Facebook timelines.
Is it true that the older you get the crazier you become? Or is that just me?
I would rather have a bad day of fishing then a good day of work.
my Dr. says i have ADHD, i dont know how they see.... oooooh a squirrel!
Deja poo. The feeling that you`ve heard this sh!t before.
Nothing ruins a perfectly good mood like reality.
Find someone you`re good at.
I`m old enough to remember when apparently the worst thing life could hand you was lemons.
FACT: The higher pitched my "hey!" the greater the chance I don`t remember who you are.
I can`t really walk the walk, or talk the talk. But, if you need someone to drink the drink, I`m your man!
Boobs are to men what light bulbs are to moths.
I hate driving so much that I even ring for taxis on grand theft auto.
Ladies, I hate to break this to you, but curves and rolls are not the same thing.