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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Looking for one night stand! Probably need two! I have a lot of books
If you need help moving I am one hundred percent there for you emotionally.
ASKHOLE: A person who constantly ask for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them
Todays hot tip: Boomerangs and Attention Deficit Disorder don`t mix.
It is only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realise that there is always a way to solve problems without violence
I don’t like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
Why is it called cat nip and not meowjuana?
Maybelline claims to make eyelashes appear three times longer…..I think they should start making condoms.
Stop complaining about being single!!, we have bigger problems here. Like why McDonalds don`t serve breakfast after 10:30 -.-
All my life I thought air was free… and then I bought a bag of chips. ^^
I love that little thing that you do...You know, the one where you leave.
There`s a big difference between a mechanic and a surgeon when they work on a tranny.
if sexyness, kindness, sweetness was a crime, You would be the world`s most wanted
My favorite in-laws are the ones that don`t exist.
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.