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Just vacuumed for the first time in a really long time and apparently I have hardwood floors?
When your girlfriend says do what ever you want. Do not do what ever you want!
yo fellas how did that "wow" comment you left on that girls facebook picture play out
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I’m making important life decisions.
When one door opens & another one closes, your fricking house is HAUNTED!
Chase you? ... B!tch please, I don`t even chase my liquor.
It`s so cold outside you can see your farts.
I never met a teenager driving a luxury car that I didn’t hate.
I miss being in a relationship. Could 1 of you girls come over here and yell at me, treat me like shi t and not sleep with me? It might help.
Is it rude to put *vomits* under someone`s post ?
If I’ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
I`m old enough to remember when having a long cord on the home phone was privacy.
If 3 people have sex, it`s called a 3-some. If 2 people have sex, it`s called a 2-some. I guess we now know why they call you HAND-some.
Drank way too much beer last night. Didn`t leave any for this morning.
1. Pour milk on floor. 2. Ask which kid did it. 3. Send them to their rooms when they don`t admit it. 4. Enjoy peaceful evening.