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Haters are my motivators(:
I have a feeling my dying words will be "Honey, I was just joking."
I`m a huge fan of screaming "You`re welcome" really loud when people don`t say thank you...
My spirit animal is that chicken who keeps crossing the road for reasons no one can figure.
Sh!t`s spiraling out of control and I`m all like "wheeeee."
Lets not get carried away it`s not like McDonalds shutdown
This job fair sucks... They don`t have one F*cking ride...
"Polar bears can`t jump." - Black bears
I spend 60%of my day worrying that I might have mustard on my face or clothing. The other 40% I am eating mustard.
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity........thats how rich I want to be.
Iām not shy, Iām just really good out figuring out who is not worth talking to.
Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don`t think of until too late
Facebook should just change it`s name to "People You May Want to Avoid."
If I didn`t drink, how would everyone know how much I love them at 2am?
I`m a little ticked off, I checked a book about surgery out of the library and when I opened it up I found that someone had taken the appendix out