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I hate Russian nesting dolls. They`re so full of themselves
keep scrolling… it gets better lol
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
However lonely you feel, you`re never alone. [There are literally millions of bugs, mites and bacteria living in your house.] Goodnight.
If only I did everything with the same precision in which I craft my sandwiches.
National no bra day wasn`t as successful as the creators had hoped. due to sagging attendants and lack of support.
Decided to cut back on my beer drinking. Fortunately, this martini is helping me through this tough time.
My boss told me that if I can`t show up sober then don`t bother coming to work tomorrow. Three day weekend!
I never run with scissors…those last two words were unnecessary.
Don`t Follow Me, I`m Lost Too
I tried to login on my iPad. Turns out it was an etch-a-sketch and I don`t own an iPad. Also. I`m out of alcohol.
"Huh?" (my thought for the day)
Rapunzel is my favorite fairy tale about a woman who finds happiness when a man pulls her hair.
If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?