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Let me be clear, I don`t want to die alone. However I want to be left completely alone until that moment
Hendrix didn`t need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.
I cant believe I saw a woman wearing slippers in church today! I almost dropped my beer.
If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
you know....I wasn`t planning on going for a run today....but those cops came out of nowhere
Night people could take over the world if we weren’t so busy finding something good on TV.
Dyslexics of the world.. UNTIE!
My idiot future husband is out there somewhere pushing a pull door. I just know it.
Who ever said, "The customer is always right", clearly never worked with the public a day in their life.
Use Angie`s List if you want a plumber to come over. Use Craigslist if you want that plumber to come over with no pants.
Beer is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
I hate when I get to the office and there isn’t a smoking crater where the building is.
I`m so old, I remember when the internet didn`t have commercials.
Write me your opinions on this extra soft paper and leave it next to my toilet.
I´m thankful for Facebook. Before, I would just scream out my thoughts to anyone who would listen.