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I need me a pretty girl with an ugly girl personality
It only takes a second to show a person how much you feel about them. The police call it indecent exposure, but whatever...
Friends are like boobs... Some are real some are fake.
Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
I eat cake every day because I know somewhere out there, it`s someone`s birthday and I need to show respect.
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza
Ever have to poop and your abdominals start to relax just as you near the toilet, and then you notice that `Out of Order` sign or the empty toilet paper dispenser?
If kids are so wonderful why do you have to pay people to watch them?
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can´t remember the other two.
All i wanna know is how this website knew my name is Guest?
If those Febreeze commercials with rooms filled with stinking, rotting garbage convince you to buy their product. Here`s a heads up for you........ You need to clean your freaking house!!!
Fashion is what you call hideous clothes that are really expensive
U.S.A.... where people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke
4 out of 5 voices in my head think the other voice is a douche...
If you think husbands aren`t good listeners, whisper "Come here, I`m naked" from anywhere in the house and see what happens.