Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"That`s crazy" is the perfect response when you haven`t been listening.
My friends think I never listen to their opinions... like I give a sh*t what they think.
The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.
Marriage counselling: Because sometimes your wife needs to hear from a professional that she`s being a bitch.
I maybe wrong but I doubt it.
They have all those non-smoking laws in public places so let’s now all focus on passing some perfume/cologne usage limits.
I have been delaying my computer updates an hour for the past 3 years.
Don’t ask a girl where she wants to eat. Tell her to guess where you’re taking her to eat. Then take her to her first guess.
I`d like to have a child one day...Two days, tops.
They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what! Who wants to be in a hurry?!?
They say you`ve got to spend money to make money. Feel like there`s some middle step I`ve been missing?
I dont care how you live your life, so just let me live mine. Yeah whatever.
That tenth doctor is a selfish idiot, he never recommends anything!
<-- Is my name! Isn`t it awesome!?
There`s actually a website designed to simulate what it`s like to be the sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust, it`s called MySpace.