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If you need help moving I am one hundred percent there for you emotionally.
Before you decide to spend less time on social media... make sure you go to every social media website and tell everyone.
The best thing about online classes is the beer.
Grabbing a drink after work is perfectly fine.However, you look like an alcoholic when your getting that drink at 6am.
My son asked what he should say if a bully said to give him his lunch money. I said tell him you left it on his moms nightstand.
Although tequila is highly toxic, it can be used to dissolve the friend zone.
After joining Facebook, my TV became radio.
It`s funny how this guy grating cheese over my pasta thinks I`m going to say stop.
Peppermint schnapps might seem like a ridiculous drink, but nobody at work ever complains about my breath.
I`m back in the HR office today. In my defense my coworker very plainly said "stick a fork in me, I`m done"
Early reports indicate I`m gonna be drunk all weekend.
Why do we even ask rhetorical questions?
The only thing instant glue sticks to instantly is fingers.
Having a pen!s is like having a friend that always wants to play.
Reincarnation is my only hope.