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Word on the street is... Lol. Jk. I don`t go outside.
off to bed...evil schemes don`t dream themselves up.
So, all theses years I thought it was the dyer making my shirts not fit. now I`m pretty sure it the refrigerator.
When you are on a first date and she says to you: “I want you to treat me like a movie star,” it is vitally important to establish which type of movie.
The best things in life are free, but they still screw you on shipping.
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. 1. I don`t have a girlfriend.
You can run from your problems. Unless your problem is a cheetah.
TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.
I try to conduct myself as a perfect gentleman whenever I meet a lady. Chicks dig that.
I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
is running out of excuses for the stupid things I do. Please submit suggestions below.
Chips have little nutritional value. That’s why you need to eat the whole bag.
You wanna know where I`m ticklish? Hawaii.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I hate you bye
Why do they call it "Jew-ish"? Are they not Jew enough?