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People should mute themselves on conference calls when they are crossing a battlefield and killing enemies to get to the next level.
Debt doesn`t buy happiness either.
I poured some shampoo over my speakers today and they blew up... So much for EXTRA VOLUME.
They should make an app that tells me how many Oreos I can eat for every mile I jog.
I was enjoying our conversation, but then I stopped talking and the whole thing got really boring.
Hurricanes, Fires,Tiger running loose ... Whoever is playing Jumanji needs to wrap it up
If you`ve ever wondered why an animal is stupid enough to run into oncoming traffic on the highway, then you`ve obviously never been married.
Experience is what you get, when you don`t get what you want
I love myself everyday. Sometimes, twice a day.
When you`re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.
U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. how many fish do you have?? stop counting smart one fish can`t drown
Whoever made up the saying "It`s the thought that counts" never got a pair of crocs for Christmas.
If Milli Vanilli were to fall in the woods, would someone else make a sound?
It`s not you, it`s me. I can`t stand you.
I wonder what my future wife is doing right now ... Hopefully modeling.