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Separating the men from the boys, one mood swing at a time.
Probably the most exciting feature on the new Iphone is the way it upgrades simple phone theft into full on finger removal.
John has 35 candy bars. If John eats 27 of them what does he have? .... Diabetes. John has diabetes.
Always thought the 4 words I never wanted to hear from my wife was "I want a divorce". Turns out its actually, "What is your password".
I`m reading a book on anti-gravity. It is impossible to put down.
If Apple really want to introduce something new and "innovative" they should just release a longer charger.
Whatever it is ... I didn´t do it!
If you really want someone to listen to you, start the conversation with "I shouldn`t be telling you this but ..."
Dear Kelloggs, Cereal that makes them go back to sleep. Sincerely, Tired parents
If my house is clean, it means that Facebook is not working.
A date with Destiny.. Cause strippers need lovin` too.
I wonder how many people read my statuses and say `I hope he`s getting professional help`?
In Canada, she`s Kilometery Cyrus.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. :)
The awkward moment when you’ve already said “what?” three times and still have no idea what the person said, so you just agree.