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Forgot to make resolutions? Just write out everything you did New Years Eve and at the beginning add the word "stop."
Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
Life was much easier when apples and blackberries were fruits&& not phones
Make fun of George Bush all you want, but he would have found a way to bomb North Korea before they shut down Hollywood.
Statistically, I`ve come to the conclusion that I`m going to hell in multiple religions.
Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. Let`s try to leave better kids for our planet.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face...
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
Mister Rogers didn’t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
I think I`m funny - but looks aren`t everything
I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.
I may not have any friends but at least I know my cat will never ask me to help him move
My beard itches, Web MD: Beard cancer
I licked some of the frosting, but then I just ate the whole cake. No evidence. Problem solved.
I`m ABSOLUTELY positive I`d accidentally kill myself within 3 minutes of owning a light saber.