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I put the pro in inappropriate.
Today I think I`ll go to a public restroom and wait until someone leaves, then click your stopwatch and write something down in a notebook.
Have you noticed that tire stores never hang big banners that say "Blowout Sale"?
Video games don`t encourage violence nearly as much as piΓ±atas do.
Iβm on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle!
Girlfriend said she felt she looked fat, tired, and ugly. Said she needed a compliment. I told her that her eyesight was nearly flawless.
Women have to deal with periods, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause and hot flashes. Men have to deal with women.
I see you`ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
A guy knocked on my door asking for a small donation for the local pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
I`ve had enough of my neighbours blasting their music from their backyard. I`m not annoyed cause it`s so loud, i`m annoyed cause they`re Korean & they`ve still yet to play Gangnam Style!
Are there actually people who get out of the shower to pee? I want to meet them.
You can`t make everyone happy, so just concentrate on me.
Itβs like I was put on this earth so unstable people have somebody to date.
My last relationship was almost as complicated as the knot my pocket created with my headphones.
I automatically assume you`re fat if your Facebook picture is a car