Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I put the pro in inappropriate.
Today I think I`ll go to a public restroom and wait until someone leaves, then click your stopwatch and write something down in a notebook.
Have you noticed that tire stores never hang big banners that say "Blowout Sale"?
Video games don`t encourage violence nearly as much as piΓ±atas do.
I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle!
Girlfriend said she felt she looked fat, tired, and ugly. Said she needed a compliment. I told her that her eyesight was nearly flawless.
Women have to deal with periods, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause and hot flashes. Men have to deal with women.
I see you`ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
A guy knocked on my door asking for a small donation for the local pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
I`ve had enough of my neighbours blasting their music from their backyard. I`m not annoyed cause it`s so loud, i`m annoyed cause they`re Korean & they`ve still yet to play Gangnam Style!
Are there actually people who get out of the shower to pee? I want to meet them.
You can`t make everyone happy, so just concentrate on me.
It’s like I was put on this earth so unstable people have somebody to date.
My last relationship was almost as complicated as the knot my pocket created with my headphones.
I automatically assume you`re fat if your Facebook picture is a car