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Unless you discovered a dead body, I don`t want to hear about your morning jog.
The only thing wrong with eary mornings is being awake.
You`d think my neighbors could have the decency to ignore me back.
Screw getting an alarm system. I`ve seen Home Alone, I know what to do.
I want to grow my own food but no one makes pizza seeds.
Oh cool! ... I really do not care.
You pay more attention to the TV than you do me! - Ma`am, do you want me to fix your cable or not?
just wanted to tell the weekend that I love you and I will be back, I will not let the weekdays take me away from you.
There are so many things in life I still need to lick.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the boss snuck out early, so I left too.
You know you are getting old when people start telling you how young you look.
Well, Thanks to SAMSUNG, flat screens are no longer `Flat`.
Tequila is Spanish for Iām open to waking up anywhere.
love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.
I think the lady at the movies is "shushing" me, but I can`t tell because I`m eating Doritos.