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Whenever I see people doing sign language, I assume they are discussing the best way to murder the rest of us and steal our ears.
To me, suicide seems selfish. For all I know, someone else might want to kill me
I use awkward numerical range description anywhere between 13 and 4 times a day.
I grew up living paycheck to paycheck. But through hard work and perseverance, I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up.
I`m pretty sure God just pointed at me and laughed.
Why do we offer "a word to the wise" when it`s the stupid ones that need the advice?
Due To ObamaCare and the poor economy Holiday Cheer this year will be distributed in Shot Glasses...
Someone offered me grapes, but I declined. I`m not used to consuming wine in pill form.
I can eat a piece of pie without a plate or a fork what else should I write on this dating site profile?
Hey rumor has it, that if you look up from your phone you can see all kinds of pretty colors in the trees this time of year.
4 out of 5 voices in my head think the other voice is a douche...
What I lack in vocabulary, I make up for in…you know...stuff...and...things...
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to just ignore you.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.