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I love that sound you make when you shut the hell up.
Unlike milk, it is acceptable to cry over spilled beer.
You should probably first master the art of thinking “inside” the box
Someday we’ll look back on all this and pretend not to remember it.
Don`t judge. Maybe I`m conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don`t know.
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
75% of my current net worth is in gift cards.
My religious preference, is for you to steer clear of me with yours.
I wonder how many identical twins are walking around now with the wrong names because their parents got them confused as infants and never figured it out.
I want to follow my dream, but i dont want to look like a stalker
Why aren`t we letting blind people think that dragons are real?
If you`re feeling powerless just remember a single one of your turds can shut down an entire water park.
Golf is such a strange game. You shout four, shoot six, and write down five.
Well, I’m bored again. Time to open the fridge
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be totally impossible!