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Of all the things I have lost in life I mis my mind the most
Republicans are red, Democrats are blue. The government is shut down cause neither one gives a damn about you.
If you think I hate you ... I probably do.
I just read the words "untimely death" and thought, "Man, I hope my death is timely."
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as Kraft singles?
How does Ice-T order an Iced Tea without sounding like a douche?
She asked me to make her feel special so I gave her a helmet and crayons.
I`m about to eat gas station breakfast. Tell my family that I love them.
I see you`ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Your secrets are safe with me because I zone out everytime you speak.
if your looking for love sorry to disappoint you im already in a relationship with fun and freedom. :-)
is running out of excuses for the stupid things I do. Please submit suggestions below.
My biggest fear is that there is no PMS and this is my personality.
I have nothing!
I once met a guy who was addicted to huffing brake fluid. He said he could stop any time.