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The hardest part about being rejected is that I end up liking them even more as a person for their ability to make great decisions.
Driving would be much more entertaining if there were no yellow lights.
If I had a time machine I`d go back to 900 A.D. and just scare the sh!t out of people with an electric toothbrush.
You know the road is in bad shape when you drive to the grocery store and your fitbit registers 1,000 steps.
I need to stop making things more complicated than they need to be. I`m adding that to my bucket Power Point presentation.
Go to China on honeymoon. Get intimate with Husband. Tell child that they were "Made in China."
The hardest question of the weekend.. can or bottle?
How dare you incinerate that I don`t know big words.
When I was young I was scared of the dark. Now when I see my electricity bill I am scared of the lights.
Relationships are like just-out-of-the-oven pizza. You know it`s going to burn you, but it looks so good and maybe this time it won`t?
You know if you say gullible slowly it sounds like oranges :)
I hate spelling errors so much. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined....
Even hoarders throw their chapstick away if someone else uses it.
So exactly what age will I stop falling over while trying to put on my underwear?
I can’t remember ever being told I’m a bad listener