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I`m still waiting for that fairly tale scene where the animals clean everything for me.
Show me in the employee handbook where it says I have to like you. Go on, I`ll wait.
9 out of 10 husbands agree that their wives are always right. The 10th one hasn`t been seen since the study was conducted.
In a perfect world Taco Bell would deliver...
"Dora" only rhymes with "Explorer" if you`re from Long Island, New York
I`d take Cap`n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren`t on his hat.
Life in the fast lane ? Heck, I live in oncoming traffic.
When do you take 5 hr energy? Right when I get off work ..12am!..beer here I come!
I learned two important lessons today. I can`t remember the first lesson, but the second one is I have to start writing things down.
No, I don`t need a Fitbit. I can count to 45 by myself.
My alarm clock is clearly jelouse of my amazing relationship with my bed.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart
hates when I´m singing along with the radio and the artist messes up the words!
How Big is Infinity?
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned