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Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo
If I truly posted what was on my mind ... I´d most likely be in a psychiatric hospital right now.
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
Helpful Tip : The police never think it`s as funny as you do.
I think I will start calling my wife "My Customer" since she is always right...
Yes, I dance in my car. Yes, I see you staring at me. No, I do not care.
I would die if I had to stop exaggerating.
Oh no. I thought of a brilliant status to update while taking bath but by the time I got back to my phone I forgot it. This is why I hate taking a bath.
I think eating is my kind of sport.
You know what`s beautiful? Read the first word again.
If you find a four-leaf clover it means you have entirely too much time on your hands.
You shouldn`t be allowed to wear animal print if you are bigger than said animal.
Growing up teachers always told me there was no such thing as a stupid question. Eight years in retail has determined that was a lie.
Ran into a former supervisor from my last job today, kept driving.