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Wouldn’t it be great to hear a priest say “been there, done that” in reply to your confessed sins?
Is it just me or when you turn off the computer by holding down the power button, it feels like I’m choking it to death.
Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
Pac-Man taught me that you can eat ghosts if you take enough pills.
I`m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off a bunch of sh!t all at the same time.
I have this empty feeling inside of me. Wait, there`s my drink.
The only thing I drink from a shot glass nowdays is Maalox.
I always try to learn from the mistakes of other people..... who have taken my advice
I read that taking a long, hot bath can help with managing stress. Unfortunately my boss doesn`t approve.
Thanksgiving is a great time to test the boundaries of how drunk you can get before your family members notice.
What`s Forrest Gump`s password? 1forest1
I was wondering why some couples don`t go to the gym together but I guess some relationships just don`t work out...
Never marry a tennis player " love means nothing to them "
in wine there is wisdom. in beer there is freedom. in water there is... umm bacteria
During the holidays people have to make a choice between enjoying the holidays or spending it with the relatives.