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Ever had sex while camping!? It`s intents!
They call cat people crazy but they`re not the ones outside at 5AM putting fresh dog poop into little baggies.
I don`t know who I feel more sorry for.. myself for never being able to find where I parked my car?.. or the poor bastards following me through the parking lot hoping to take my parking space...
So far my Christmas shopping has involved buying myself presents, so I’d say it’s been a success.
Is your GPS supposed to sigh before it says "Recalculating"?
Dear facebook, please quit asking me what`s on my mind. Eventually I`m going to get in trouble if I keep telling you.
You laugh because you think it’s a joke. I laugh because you think I’m joking.
Things I do everyday: 1.Get up 2.Survive 3.Go back to bed
I don`t know what I would do without Facebook, but I`m sure it would be something more productive
Think we could get the North Korean hackers to end "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"?
R.I.P. 2013 (2013-2013)
Happy 4th of July ! ... It`s a holiday. You know what that means... Ten million status updates saying the exact same thing. Get ready.
The girl next door looks over at me, then her phone, then makes a disgusted look on her face. I think she`s just found my Facebook account
Some people walk into your life and leave footprints on your heart. Some people walk into life and make you want to leave footprints on their face
Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?