Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.
The best thing about not being with you, is not being with you.
Debt doesn`t buy happiness either.
Normal trees probably look at Christmas trees all dolled up and think .. "Whore"
Can anyone recommend a good movie to kinda listen to while I stare at my phone?
Don`t act like your not impressed.
How do you know if your girlfriend is getting fat?...She fits into your wife`s clothes.
I guarantee there`s a pregnant teenager somewhere who thinks `Ebola` would be a lovely name for their child.
I have a kid in Africa I inoculate, feed, clothe and send to school for only $1 day. It cost a lot to send him over there though.
I won $20 by not playing the lottery last night!
It`s always nice to be called Pretty in the morning. So what if he was hiding behind the trash wearing no pants.
Your mother never saw the irony in calling you son of a bitch.
I start a lot of conversations with "goodbye" in hopes that I trick people into thinking we already talked.
If I laugh randomly when you are talking to me, don`t worry, the voices are telling me jokes.
Reverse cowgirl. Perfect for when you`re horny, but can`t stand to look at each other !