Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I`m eating here."
All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is, intelligent men don’t get into relationships.
Why fart and waste it, when you can burp and taste it
I`m a bitch ... What`s your excuse?
Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don`t wanna have to explain why I`m in your `Random Party Pics 08` album at 4am.
As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions.
Ladies, if he calls you crazy, don`t get upset. Crazy girls are better in bed so take it as a compliment. But stab him, just in case...
There are 2 types of people in this world, those who press “door close” in the elevator before others can jump on & those who are liars.
L`oréal`s mascara makes your lashes 60% longer? Wow! They should make condoms.
I just got a paper cut opening a box of Pop Tarts. There will be no more fancy breakfasts around here.
I swear I saw a guy earlier today that had no chin and all I could think about was, how does he put on pillow cases?
My wife is great at multitasking. She can be mad at me for five different things at the same time.
I just lost my mood ring, I don`t know how I feel about that.
Several years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
I just had Déjà vu...and you were an asshole both times.