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I put mirrors on the ceiling because I like to see how I look when I`m eating pizza alone.
I can`t tell them apart, was that Milli or Vanilli doing the sign language at Madela`s funeral?
word of the day: nincomtard
I love the way everyone who uses hand sanitizer looks like they`re hatching some kind of evil plan.
Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.
I was going to write something profound and memorable here, but I can`t remember what it was.
If by O.P.P. you mean Other People’s Pancakes, then yes I’m down with O.P.P.
I had been dreaming about eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone! :O
justin bieber
My dentist said I grind at night. I was like, ok stalker.
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember all the things I was suppose to do.
One day id like to have a brand new Iphone like the lady in front of me with the food stamps.
Things could be worse ... sex could be fattening
I`ve given up on giving up.
It`s really cold out there folks. If you`re heading to Wal-Mart, please wear two pairs of pajamas.