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Let me get this straight…a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair out…and still be afraid of a spider?
PLEASE - put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn`t know, they can also breathe fire. 93% of people won`t copy and paste this, because they have already been eaten by dragons. 6% of people are sitting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers and the remaining 1% are awesome and will re-post.
Oops! I hate when I pour myself a drink and then have 12 more by accident.
That weird feeling when you wake up from a nap & you don`t whether it`s am or pm or what day, month, or year it is.
I`m single by choice. Not MY choice. But it`s still a choice
FB friends, please let me know if you own one of those cool little Smart cars so I can unfriend you.
Every time I start to feel happy I remember the shingles virus is already inside me.
Life is different in Christian frats: “You should’ve seen this hot chick I didn’t bang.” “Way to save it for marriage, bro.” *fist bump*
Life is hard, it`s even harder when your stupid.
Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they`d lock us up?
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer ... That`s all.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
Whenever a wrong number calls me and hangs up I always call em back and tell them it was their loss because I`m really fun to talk to.
Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.
All women have an hour glass figure – it’s just that they all tote around different amounts of sand.