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Teamwork is just another way of saying we will soon be sharing in the blame equally.
I cant believe I saw a woman wearing slippers in church today! I almost dropped my beer.
I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and the internet.
Any girl is a stripper if you wait outside her window long enough
Why do cops ask us why we think they pulled us over? It`s their job. I dont go to the station and ask why they think I created a powerpoint.
1, 2 Freddie´s coming for u 3, 4 better lock the door 5, 6 grab your crucifix 7, 8 gotta say up late 9, 10 never sleep again
I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I have 2020 vision.
Just blew the sugar off my donut… Dieting is hard!
My 5yr old learned how to whistle if anyone’s looking for a new 5yr old.
Don’t compare yourself to others, that’s when you start to lose confidence in yourself.
I use these ( ... ) a lot. For which, I believe, the technical term is Dotty Dot Dots.
Spiderman is just another guy who ends up with sticky hands and covered in white stuff after being on the web.
Seriously, dude...Is there a name for what`s wrong with you?
Doormats are a gateway rug.
You call it reckless driving, I call it searching for my lighter.