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Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".. O_o
When I was little we didn`t have emojis. We had to put smiley face stickers on handwritten letters like a bunch of savages.
If you can`t remember my name, just say `donuts`. I`ll definitely turn around and look.
Every year new words are added onto the dictionary, yet no new positions are added to the karma sutra.
I`m gaining weight for my role as "Before picture"
I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
I just found out that a bucket of KFC when you`re finished with it, also doubles as a porta-potty...
The New iPhone 7 is coming out in August. If you want a sneak peek of the new iPhone. Take a look at your current iPhone and pretend it cost 200 dollars more.
My love is like a candle, If you forget about me, I`ll burn your frikin house down!
Eleventeen percent of the population makes up words.
If she owns more than 4 pairs of yoga pants, expect A LOT of text messages
Your baby has no idea that you threw him a 1st birthday party. All you did was inconvenience your friends.
Imagine how out of control drinking would if we didn`t have hangovers
Trying to be less negative but it`ll never work.
maturity comes when you stop publishing every detail of your life on social media