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If Miley doesn`t get her sh!t together, all these Hannah Montana collectibles are never gonna get my kids through college.
I`m only a morning person on December 25th
If they put beer in CapriSun pouches I could fit a lot more in my cooler. Just thought I`d throw that out there, people who invent sh!t.
I would rather have a bad day of fishing then a good day of work.
The best thing about online classes is the beer.
I met this girl in a club last night, I think she’s a body builder. She just so happened to build hers using chips.
I was looking all over for my ambition today......well, It wasn`t under this 12 pack, so I`ll look tomorrow.
I don`t like selfish people. I saw this guy pushing like 50 carts at Wal-mart last night. Really? You think someone else might want one?
The most effective way to torture young people is to make them watch old people use a computer.
I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
Beautiful people are more beautiful when surrounded by ugly people
There are two types of people I can`t stand. Nosy people, and people who won`t tell me what`s going on.
Remember when you thought you’d have it all together by the time you were the age you are now? LOL
Before I stalk someone, I follow them around for a while...Cause you know, what if they`re not worth it?
If zombies ever attack just go to Costco...they have concrete walls...years of foods and supplies...and best of all the zombies can`t get in without a Costco membership card.