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I don’t care if it’s 4 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. You choose your own adventure.
Sticks and stones may break your bones. Also good: lead pipes.
I wasn`t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Relationships are like yard sales... They look good from a distance but you get there & realize its just a bunch of sh!t you dont need.
I replaced the spare tire in my car with a box of wine. I`ve no idea how to change a tire, & I bet I`ll need a drink as I wait for a ride.
I can’t believe it’s 2012 and there is still no fold button on my dryer.
Life was much easier when apples and blackberries were fruits&& not phones
Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
It`s so nice to come home and relax with Facebook after a long day at the office being on Facebook.
I don`t run away from my problems. That`s immature. I ignore them.
It’s people that give drinking a bad name.
I need something that`s more than coffee but less than cocaine.
I’ve found that the things I’m most interested in aren’t really in my best interest.
Better to be incredibly weird than incredibly boring.