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I read "Do not believe everything you read." Now I`m not sure whether to believe this or not.
Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! -Librarians arguing
I’ve been that, done that, had that, lost that, needed that and felt that. Just a few of the many reasons why I always drink to “that”.
How long does it take possums to realize when one of them is actually dead?
Stop complaining about being single!!, we have bigger problems here. Like why McDonalds don`t serve breakfast after 10:30 -.-
Coffee, you`re on the bench ... Alcohol suit up!!
My walk of shame is going back for a shopping cart after realizing I can`t carry 23 items in my arms through the store.
Basically the whole point of Facebook is so you can see if you’re prettier than your ex’s new girlfriend.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. -Me with beer, me without beer
I walked briskly with scissors today. I’m pretty wild.
I`m so glad my face doesn’t have a progress bar that shows how long it takes me to understand what someone is saying.
Show some cleavage on bad hair days.
That tenth doctor is a selfish idiot, he never recommends anything!
If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"
Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.