Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
My dog`s ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I`d like it to be.
My friends are the kind that would flirt with the fireman while my house was burning down.
If you don’t feel just a little bit of shame after the weekend… you’re not doing it right.
If you are willing to date an ex, it means that you`re backwards compatible.
I think "Don`t Kid Yourself" would be a great brand name for birth control pills....
I think when a restaurant has "lobster celebration" it is very misleading to the lobster.
Maybe America will believe in global warming if we make it a Snapple Fact.
If you can’t be a good example, then you’l just have to serve as a horrible warning
So bored at work I can`t even think of something to goggle
My kids constantly yell at me whenever I try take their pictures, and I tell `em: "You`re gonna need them in 20 years for your Throw Back Thursdays updates"..... whatever!!
I`m so hungry I could eat without looking down at my phone.
There are two key elements to success. 1) Never tell anyone everything you know.
It`s hard to focus on a home workout when your home also contains a refrigerator full of delicious food
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention Morons!