Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Maybe cologne should come with a two sprays a day lock on it.
You’re the reason I wake up everyday... Just kidding I have a job!!
There aren`t enough love songs about the moment you see your luggage appear at baggage claim.
How old were you when you found out your parents were using Santa Claus as a behavior-modification tool?
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up
Whoever said, "All men are created equal", has obviously never been to a nude beach
The best part of waking up is.....wait, I didn`t think this through entirely.
I`m having trouble telling if it`s killing me or making me stronger
I really like my new electric toothbrush, even though sometimes, I still break out the acoustic.
No one looks more depressed than a grown man walking away from the microwave with a Lean Cuisine meal in his hands.
If any of you ladies want pancakes for breakfast, just come over....you can make them here, because I want some too
I will resolve to spend less time on Facebook..............ok, got that one out of the way.....................
Try trick or treating in spandex... I`ve seen how much it can hold.
Hey ladies! Great news! Those low riding, butt crack, hip hugger jeans are coming back in style!