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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
Say what you want about Kim and Kanye naming their daughter North West. That kid is headed straight to the top. And slightly to the left.
I`ve always wondered how the job application process at Hooters works. Do they give you a bra and orange shorts and say, "Here, can you fill these both out"?
I used to have a life. Then some idiot came along and said "Why don’t you make a Facebook account? It`s fun".
I am the undefeated champion of this”smooshing-down-the-garbage-so-I-don’t-have-to-take-it-out-for-another-day” game.
It`s hard to take life serious once you realize people jamming their genitals in each others mouths is considered a sign of affection.
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
I saw a Facebook ad for burial plots and I thought, that`s the last thing I need.
I guess I’ll take my Christmas tree down today.
Cop: Been drinking tonight, ma`am? Me: No, I`m just dizzy b/c I`m having a heavy flow day. It`s really clotty and... Cop: You`re free to go.
The next time you feel you`re worthless.... just remember.... your organs are worth a LOT of money on the black market.
One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
I just did a bunch of crunches and curls. There were Nestle Crunches and cheese curls, but still. I`m exhausted.
I don`t make enough money to go on vacation so I`m just going to get drunk this weekend until I don`t know where I am.
every woman iz beautuful n her unique way, smtimz it needs sm amount of alcohol to see with