Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
Some girls are so desperate. Who calls 3 times, leaves a voicemail, and sends a text?? Take a hint, mom.
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found.
You know what’s huge in Japan? ..Sumo wrestlers. ;)
My doctor said I`m healthy enough for sexual activity ... I`m just not attractive enough.
Party like you will never be invited to another!
It`s great how you have legs that can take you away from a conversation when you don`t feel like listening to people anymore
Ever have to poop and your abdominals start to relax just as you near the toilet, and then you notice that `Out of Order` sign or the empty toilet paper dispenser?
Happy St. Patrick`s Day to the fool that gave up alcohol for Lent.
Mashed potatoes really beg the question: “what else could we massively improve by squashing the hell out of it?”
Instead of having a child, I intend to spend my life acting like one.
Don`t judge me just because I sin differently from you.
Scientists have yet to explain how 300 people can be working at a Wal-Mart but only 4 registers will be open.
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
Despite its name, Gatorade is pretty much fatal to alligators. I’m not allowed to volunteer at the zoo anymore.