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According to Tetley the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag so i slap her arse and shout "cup ot tea fatty"
We can`t deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one.
The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.
Today is International Women’s Day. It was actually supposed to be held 2 days ago but they took too long to get ready.
Meal prepping is basically eating a week`s worth of leftovers from a meal that never happened.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on? Asking for a friend.
I think I will start calling my wife "My Customer" since she is always right...
I always try to behave on Friday nights but there are usually too many other options.
Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.
I`m the guy at the gym laying face down on the treadmill telling everyone "I`m ok, I`m ok"
I don`t understand when people say `age is just a number`... Age is clearly a word.
Drunk me would really appreciate a light switch on the floor.
No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I`d go on a road trip with my mom.
Let’s just call a vacation what it is: the opportunity to live like an alcoholic for a little while.
Most days I think I understand women, but then the alcohol wears off.