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Sawing a hole in the bottom of a table to steal someone`s cake is way harder than it looks on cartoons.
So, I guess we’re just supposed to assume the number is 1-800-Ghostbusters?
I once found a whip, a mask, a baton and handcuffs in my Mother-in-Law`s draw... who knew she was a superhero. Nice!!!
You make me have filthy thoughts, and for that I thank you...
The problem with working from home is the absence of sexual harassment.
Even if girls came with instructions, men would never read them.
A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that`s the last thing I need.
I love secretly placing a deck of cards on top of someones ceiling fan.
FYI: You can`t beat rock-paper-scissors with yourself in the mirror.
I don`t understand when people say `age is just a number`... Age is clearly a word.
I have no interest in skydiving. I get enough of an adrenaline rush hoping my debit card goes through.
Wearing my pajamas to Walmart. I don`t want to attract any attention.
You`re right, you didn`t ask that guy for a d!ck pic, but nobody asked for hundreds of pictures of your face either.
This is my leftover status from Thanksgiving.
Her: Do you want to run away with me? ME: We won`t actually be running, right?