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I am currently watching the Holy Grail of horror movies. There are 10 minutes left and the black guy is still alive.
Let’s get naughty and save Santa the trip.
i hate not being able to correct the typo i just made in my previous statues update......DAMN IT! I JUST DID IT AGAIN!
If at first you don`t succeed ... I just lie and say I did.
I get very nervous out when my Subway sandwich moves up the crowded assembly line without me.
When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.
Why is it when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a deserted island?" , no one ever replies, "A BOAT"
I plucked my first gray hair today ... Man, that lady was upset.
Amazing how many people just stroll into tattoo parlors and say "Give me the dumbest thing you can think of."
To be honest, I´m just fishing for compliments tonight.
One day id like to have a brand new Iphone like the lady in front of me with the food stamps.
It would be funny if the husband is actually sleeping with the Jake from state Farm.
Wish there were more love songs about naps and liqour.
Being unsure has never stopped me from making a decision.
After reading some marriage post, I`m beginning to suspect we all may have been married to the same person.