Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Deadliest Catch and Jersey Shore - two reality tv shows about catching crabs
Walked into the kitchen for orange juice; walk out with sandwich, crackers, chocolate milk, and the TV remote I lost 30 minutes ago
You guys remember back before Google when we would just sit around and wonder about sh!t ...?
If you like to listen to music while having sex, listen to a live album. That way you will get an applause every 3-4 minutes.
Psychology — Even trying to spell it correctly screws with your head.
This post is just for you.
If every porkshop was perfect, we wouldn`t have hot dogs.
The worst job to have right about now would be that of a realtor in Ferguson.
The skeletons in your closet are suggesting that you upgrade to a double wide, walk-in.
Today, I did it hard, I did it loud, it was wet, and I did it four times in a row. I wish I wasn’t talking about sneezing.
When I die I want Charlie Sheen’s life to flash before my eyes.
Even when I change my mind, it still doesn`t work any better.
I just went into an AOL chat room to ask someone how to start a fire with sticks.
Just signed a $320,000, nine year deal with my therapist.
My New Year`s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.