Daily Silly Status

Have you hugged you bartender today.

Some people are like water balloons; they`re more fun when you throw them out the window.

Conspiracy theory for conspiracy theorists: Your conspiracy theories were planted by the government to distract you from real conspiracies.

It only takes 2 ingredients to make a baby. Does that not blow your mind. Like at least there should be some flour or something.

To the 84yo woman that won the $591 million dollar PowerBall, sup baby ;)

Men are like lottery tickets. Very exciting at first, until you scratch away the surface to reveal the loser beneath.

I got kicked out of the zoo for feeding the ducks ... to the alligators.

LADIES: Not all men get into a relationship just for sex. Some just need a personal chef.

Well after 6 months of my girlfriend nagging, I finally did it, I lost 120lbs ... I`m sure gonna miss her.

I hate it when I get too drunk and just kidding I never hate getting drunk!

I need chapstick on my lips ... anyone want to share ?

Copy this and paste it in your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone.. If you don´t know anyone, or even if you´ve heard of someone who doesn´t know anyone, then do still copy this. It´s important to spread the message. Oh and the hearts ? ? ? ? For crap´s sake, don´t forget the hearts! ? ? ? ?

for every like, I will fart on my wife face

Don`t understand how you can forget about someone you loved so much. Like that time my mum drove off and left me in the supermarket car park

Twitter is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.