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Allow me to explain myself via a new communication method I like to call "Interpretive Napping"
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
you know why maths is unhappy? because it got so many problems.
I often confuse reptiles and amphibians. Actually, if I`m being brutally honest, they pretty much never know what I`m talking about
I had no plans on looking sexy today, but sh!t happens.
Do you think people in Mexico ever say, "Those jobs keep stealing all our Mexic?ns!"
Some people see a glass as half empty. Some see a glass as half full. Most need to get a life & do something besides stare at glasses.
My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she`s died so I could get out of having to go somewhere
Nothing says you are ugly like Facebook asking ``Are you sure you want to make this your profile picture?``
According to my iPhone Health app, I walked 1,787 steps around this Golden Corral buffet tonight .... So I got that going for me.
POLITICS; from `poly` meaning `many and `Tics` meaning blood-sucking creatures. Just sayin`
I enjoy romantic scrolls up and down your timeline.
The correct answer to "How are you?" is "Fine." If you ever stray from that dialogue, please know that nobody gives a sh!t.
Is your family tree a cactus? Because everyone on it is a prick.
Iām bored. Anyone need anything avenged?