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If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
A zip line but from the sofa to the fridge
Sadly no matter how hard you try, you can`t mail a fart. Too bad though, because this would actually make paying Bills a lot more fun.
SCIENCE FACT: If you close your eyes, you won`t be able to see.
I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.
It`s depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine.
Alarm clocks should come with sounds like “tiny doll feet scampering into the closet” because I am not hitting snooze when I hear that
Relationship status: running out of films on Netflix.
I don’t need your attitude. The voices in my head are enough
You’re one of those women that my mom warned me about…Here’s my number.
Of course I like you, I gave you that roofie didn`t I?
Ways to Win my Heart: Buy me Beer Bring me Beer Be Beer.
You can either wear granny panties OR yoga pants - not both. Pick one.
If people who shop at Walmart, “Save Money. Live Better.” Exactly how bad were these people living BEFORE Walmart?
If you weren`t supposed to eat 15 Oreos in one sitting, they wouldn`t package them in rows of 15.