Daily Silly Status

I`m old enough to remember when cell phones actually got smaller every year.

I started to question my sanity this morning, It told me to "Shut up and chew through the straps....). I was free by noon......Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

there are so many scams on the internet now...... Send me $19.95 an I`ll tell you how you can avoid them

If I treated others how I wanted to be treated, I`d be doing a ton of spontaneous sexual favors for random strangers.

My boss calls it a cubicle. I call it a happiness deprivation chamber.

Chuck Norris doesn`t flush the toilet...he just scare the sh!t out of it.

"Any way you can speed this up, officer? I`m obviously in a hurry."

I dreamt I was you..I hated myself. Luckily I woke up..woah that was close.

hmmmm...halo or horns today??

As My Wife walked by, she said, "NICE PORN STASH!" which got me all excited and I preceded to show her where I hide the really raunch stuff. She then clarified that she was talking about the ugly hair I`ve been trying to grow above my lip, and now, I have neither... :)

Don’t let anybody push you around ... unless you’re in a wagon, cuz that is just plain fun.

If the government shutdown effected alcohol or internet porn they`d have this sh!t fixed by tomorrow morning.

all joking aside, think how many babies might be created tonight on valentines day

Multitasking (verb) - Screwing up several things at once.

Yawning is the body`s way of saying `10% Battery Remaining`.