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"we can still be friend" .. is like saying "The dog died, but we can still keep him"
If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions.
I can tell you nice things but they`ll all be about me.
More tattoo artists really just need to say "No, I`m not doing that."
If you`re going to have opinions on my life, then I am assuming you will be paying some of the bills.
Shout out to sidewalks. Thanks for keeping me off the streets.
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other
boss- "You cant drink while your at work!" .. me- "Oh dont worry im not working!!"
I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don`t show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills.
When girls flash its called, "girls gone wild" when men flash its call ... "America`s most wanted"
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can`t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
Kids today will never appreciate how difficult it used to be finding pictures of naked people.
I wish they all could be Jerry Springer girls.
My goal in life: Build a time machine and travel forward into the future until I can stop and ask someone "Do you know what `buffering` is?" and they are clueless.
I`ve just been watching a documentary on marijuana...... I think all documentaries should be watched this way.