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It doesn`t matter how old you are, If you hear the ice cream truck jingle you jump out the window for that sh!t.
I never tell god how big my problems ,,, I tell my problems how big my god is
Every so often I’ll listen to my wife talk non stop for hours at a time, to remind myself why people wander into traffic without looking.
I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it`s for her is to eat it. Apparently
FACT: 99.7% of guys named "Dan" are not actually "The Man".
Home sounds like a nice place, until they say they`re going to put you in one.
Take time to reflect upon your day. Think of all the blessings you received, and everything you may be called to testify about :)))
It`s funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing.
The more I know, the more I forget! The more I forget the less I know! The less I know, the less I forget! The less I forget, the more I know!!!
I`m having an out of money experience.
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.
"My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I`m not coming in" - No guy, ever.
I`m at the point in my life where "friend with benefits" just means a person who gives me their Bed Bath & Beyond coupons.
If we all had to wear a warning label, what would yours say?
Drop it! Please, just DROP IT. - My dog, whenever I`m eating.