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Turtles do nothing and are slow as hell, yet they live for like 200 years. I`ll probably live forever.
It’s called karma, and it’s pronounced “haha! Screw you!”
Watching someone else play a video game is like watching someone who won`t let you join in while they`re masturbating.
I`m just going to put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
Technically, I don`t have to do anything until my wife wakes up and realizes I`m not doing anything.
Fox canceled Cops. So I guess if I want to stay current on what my family is up to now, I`ll have to turn to Facebook.
“Grandbrother” sounds much cooler than uncle.
Who ever said, "The customer is always right", clearly never worked with the public a day in their life.
If you`ve had cats, the singles virus may already be inside you.
Life before the internet was awful. Your friend would be wrong about a trivial issue during dinner and you just had to let it go
If you can´t convince them, confuse them.
Very little scares me. So does very big.
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
Besides being curled up on the bathroom floor convinced I was dying from liver failure for a few hours, last night was fun.
Moral compass? Is there an app for that?