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I never know the proper etiquette with the pizza delivery guy. Do I kiss him before or after paying him?
My ex is living proof as to how stupid I can be.
There`s no better reminder to visit your dentist than a trip to Walmart.
Perhaps we should hold elections on the last Friday of November, with polling stations at Walmart, Target and Apple
Your selfie would be way better if you weren`t in it.
On a scale of one to crazy, how many cats do you have?
Jack The Ripper would be a great name for a fitness trainer.
I don`t get why people find drunk texts annoying. You`re the person they`re thinking of when their brain can`t even function properly.
When two people love each other deeply, nothing is impossible. Except deciding on where to eat.
Hooray ! My face book film has been nominated for an Academy Award
I dont need to control my anger everyone around me needs to control their habit of pissing me off!
Nice try, self-checkout lane. There`s not even any mirrors.
I stopped watching the History Channel because it`s so outdated.
My sleep number is 24. That`s a case of beer and I sleep like a baby.
Starbucks isn`t really that expensive compared to how much Victoria`s Secret charges per cup.