Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When a woman asks you to guess her age, it`s like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb
You never know a person until you walk in their shoes... or until you check their browser history.
There’s a bald spot in my yard so I’m gonna let the grass around it grow really long and then do a comb-over.
How do you get to be that guy who waves the chopsticks at the the orchestra? I feel like I could do that.
My friend told me he wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don`t think he`d be a good secret agent.
Despite the high cost of living, it still remains popular.
At this point in life, my greatest chance of having a threesome will be sex with a schizophrenic.
Why is it that whenever I have to turn around in a strange driveway, I feel like they`re gonna come running out with pitchforks and torches?
This silly farmers market doesn`t have any locally grown pizza.
I have removed all the unhealthy food from my house ... It was delicious.
They say you are what you eat but I don’t remember eating a sexy beast.
I come from a long line of successful people. I have successfully stopped that tradition.
I had a very confident breakdown today. ...Wasn`t nervous at all. ;)
when in Rome get naked ;)
What kind of downward spiral would cause a person to "like" cream cheese on Facebook?