Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s nice to know I`m wanted....even if it`s only by the Police!
3yo just yelled "face-five!" & slapped his brother in the face. I`m totally using that at work tomorrow.
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I`m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God, I could be eating a slow learner...
I love nostalgia. Not sure what it means, but it reminds me of magical words from my childhood.
Please don`t post pictures of cats on my FB wall. I am allergic.
Having a bit of a lazy day, sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused
When I`m bored I like to call in sick to places I don`t work for. I`m getting written up at Kohls.
You’ll never be as young as you are now.
With names like "Batman" and "Robin", you`d think they could fly...
I wonder where superman changes now that there are no more phone booths
I asked him about his weekend, but apparently what happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness.
My browser asks "are you sure?" when I clear my history as if theres anyone more sure of what theyre doing than someone clearing his history
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books
A sure cure for sea-sickness is to sit under a tree.
They need to put more spider poison in hairspray.