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I hate when I accidentally say "I love you" instead of "I`m biologically driven to want to reproduce with you and I`m temporarily delusional."
If I tell you I can`t text you because I`m driving it`s only because I`m also eating.
why do wise people never make wisecracks?
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
If you come to myspace and twitter about my yahoo, can I google over your facebook?
Your things are terrific.
Roses are red, Violets are blue... Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you thought this would be something sweet and charming, but it`s just some garden facts.
Dear Tequila, you were supposed to make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk.
I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow because I`m still looking for ideas
take it easy and if it is easy take it home
I farted in the apple store and everyone got pissed, not my fault they dont have windows ...
"I`ve had so much coffee, I got halfway to work and realized I forgot my car."
I`ve done it in the bathroom, I`ve done it in the bedroom, I`ve done it in the kitchen, on the couch, outside, in the bus, yoo I just can`t seem to stop this texting.:)
Sometimes I get a little sad and feel like being alone. But then I talk to my dog about it and he reminds me I`m Awesome. Then WE DANCE.
No one texts faster than a gossiping woman.