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2003: Fear that ppl from the internet will find me in real life. 2013: Fear that ppl from real life will find me on the internet.
The only reason I liked your post was because I was trying to clean a smudge off my screen.
Deadliest Catch and Jersey Shore - two reality tv shows about catching crabs
We can only blame ourselves for all the crime and violence today, we removed all the phone booths and now Superman has nowhere to change...
Describe myself in three words ... 1. Lazy
I hate bugs that fly, jump, crawl, dougie, twerk, 2 step, all that crap.
If you go for a jog and you don`t post it on Facebook, have you really jogged?
So last night I put a whopee cushion on moms chair, waited and finally heard it go off.. I walk in with a massive smile on my face to find out that she hadn`t even sat on it yet.
Most of my thoughts have been coming from a very dark place lately. That`s what happens when you forget to pay your electric bill
I think you people lied to me...exactly how much of this hair of the dog do I have to eat before this hangover goes away?
is a reasonably intelligent person who does moderately stupid things on a semi-regular basis.
If the universe didn`t want me to eat four pop-tarts for breakfast I wouldn`t have four slots on my toaster...
It`s amazing how different the phrases "alcohol free" and "free alcohol" are.
There was no bonus fry at the bottom of the bag. But the story has a happy ending. I found it later in my sports bra.
Sometimes, when dealing with people, you can`t help but stop and think, "Yup, I`m about to get my first assault charge."