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My neighbors got so weird when I asked how many bodies they thought were buried in their yard. I meant roughly, not like an exact number.
The best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives people more crazy then seeing someone actually having a good life.
I will write something profound ... subsoil!
Before I got married I didn`t even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge
You can always tell the guys that masturbate a lot by looking at their hands. If you look close enough you can see their wedding ring.
To drink, or not to drink?...what a stupid question!
So what the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Their house paint is peeling.
All other things being equal, tall people use more soap.
Clearly, you are a person with an open mind. I can feel the breeze from here.
So far, I`ve had exactly "call my ex" number of beers tonight!!!
So if a dentist makes money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should we trust a toothbrush that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
You call it Sushi, I call it bait.
I use these ( ... ) a lot. For which, I believe, the technical term is Dotty Dot Dots.
Saw a chameleon today, so I`m assuming it wasn`t a very good one.
Being a woman should count as a pre-existing mental condition.