Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I really need a long road trip, top down, in the Jeep...with a cooler....loud music....and an extra cooler in case the first one isn`t enough
There`s no better reminder to visit your dentist than a trip to Walmart.
I had to defrost the fridge last night before bed. Or foreplay, as she calls it.
Friend told me that on her strict new diet, she eats each meal naked in front of a mirror. I said would you like to come over for dinner?
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn´t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be.
He is proud of himself. He finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
Dentists need cooler sh!t on their ceilings.
Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people.
I`m not saying we should kill all the incompetent people. I`m simply suggesting we remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.
According to Debrah in HR, "Back up off my balls" is not the proper way to tell someone to wait for assistance.
Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously it`s a girl because it won`t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I like women.
Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever....
I like it when everyone posts on Facebook what they are cooking for diner...it makes my decision on who to drop in on so much easier.
A recent study has found that woman who carry little extra weight live longer then the man who mention it